God's Faithfulness in Forgiveness

Sermon Manuscript

I have a question and you don’t have to answer out loud. Who here has ever held a grudge? Now of course, me being a pastor, I have never held a grudge! ;) I always offer forgiveness as soon as it's asked of me and I trust God entirely to do justice on my behalf. You're giggling because you know that can't be true. I believe we all have held grudges at one point or another. It’s understandable, because sometimes people hurt us deeply, and forgiveness feels impossible. Sometimes it's just easier to hold it against them because they don't deserve to be let off the hook. 

But did you know that unforgiveness harms your health? It's true! Whether or not you forgive can impact your health. Studies have shown that unforgiveness or forgiveness are linked to how your body handles your stress levels, heart health, cholesterol level, blood pressure, physical pain, anxiety, depression, post traumatic stress disorder, and sleep quality. Holding a grudge and living in unforgiveness is bad for your health. Studies also show us the forgiveness is good for your health. It's good for your physical health, it gives you hope, and it gives you more livelihood in addition to having more positive outcomes of all those conditions I just listed. I love studies like this because everyone knows, Christian or not, that Bible tells us to forgive. Studies like this are another piece of evidence that we are made to live into our image of God. I could keep going on how we are made in the image of God but that's a Genesis one conversation and to day we are in Genesis 33. We're going to see what it looks like to forgive. We're going to see the impact it has on the brothers Jacob and Esau after their long relationship, or lack thereof, of strife, deceit, and bloodlust.  

Before we dive into the scripture and wrap up this Genesis study of God’s faithfulness, I want to remind us where we have come from. On my first Sunday with you, we started in Genesis 12. We met this guy named Abram. Abram was an ordinary guy who received an extraordinary call and in turn gave the extraordinary response of saying yes to God. Abram left all his stability and trusted that God would indeed make him into a great nation though he and his wife Sarai were childless. He trusted God at his word. Then, we saw our hero of faith, Abraham, make a moral failure. He decides to trust the ways of the world over the works of his God and he took Hagar as a wife who bore him Ishmael.  

The next Sunday we learned about Hagar and we saw that even when people don't follow God's plans and ways, God is still good and faithful. He still made Ishmael into a great nation and he cared for Hagar and took care of her. Then Isaac is finally born miraculously to postmenopausal Sarah.  

God then puts Abraham to the test. His faith has been strong, and it has wavered. God wants to know, and really he wants Abraham to know, if Abraham really trusts God’s promises. God tells Abraham to sacrifice Isaac and I am sure with great trembling and tears, Abraham prepares to do so. But God provides. Abraham does not have to sacrifice his son, but we know God was willing to sacrifice his. Then we had a couple weeks off from Genesis because we had this little thing called Hurricane Helene. Together we experienced God's faithfulness in tragedy.  

When we got back into our routine we then jumped to Jacob and Esau. We learned Jacob was a heel-grabber at birth and became a trickster and a deceiver in adulthood. But God gave an oracle to their mother, Rebekah, that the younger would rule the older. Jacob, being the younger, tried to use God’s word to his own advantage and disregarded the ways of God. We learned Esau valued physical things like a bowl of soup over his birthright and Jacob snatched it from him in a moment of weakness. The next week we saw Jacob deceive Isaac to steal Esau’s blessing. Then Jacob was sent away from his family to find a wife elsewhere. He had to run because Esau wanted to kill him. Then during his time in Rebecca's brother's household, Laban, he marries both Rachel and Leah though he'd only meant to marry Rachel. And Jacob gets a taste of his own medicine with a person more deceitful than he is. Eventually Laban becomes so difficult to live with that both of Jacob's wives gladly go with Jacob to head back to his homeland after God told Jacob it was time to go. And then this trickster, Jacob, experiences God. He experienced him on the way to Laban's household in a dream. Now he experiences God first hand when God comes to wrestle Jacob and he renames him Israel. Jacob goes from our heel-grabber to a God-fighter to trust in God to fight for him. And now all of this is coming to a climax. He is about to meet Esau. 

So without further ado, turn with me in your Bible to Genesis 33:1-11. I’ll be reading from the NRSV. I invite you to turn in your Bible or click on your smart phone to Genesis 33:1-11. Or follow along on the screen.  

Hear now the word of the Lord. 

1 Now Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. 2 He put the maids with their children in front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all. 3 He himself went on ahead of them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near his brother.  

4 But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. 5 When Esau looked up and saw the women and children, he said, “Who are these with you?” Jacob said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.” 6 Then the maids drew near, they and their children, and bowed down; 7 Leah likewise and her children drew near and bowed down; and finally Joseph and Rachel drew near, and they bowed down. 8 Esau said, “What do you mean by all this company that I met?” Jacob answered, “To find favor with my lord.” 9 But Esau said, “I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.” 10 Jacob said, “No, please; if I find favor with you, then accept my present from my hand, for truly to see your face is like seeing the face of God, since you have received me with such favor. 11 Please accept my gift that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me and because I have everything I want.” So he urged him, and he took it.  

The word of God for the people of God - thanks be to God 

I bet this encounter went far differently than Jacob expected and much better than he expected too. He sent ahead those gifts to try to gain Esau’s good graces. But I'm sure there was part of him that did not expect it to go over well. And yet here is Esau flabbergasted by the opulent gifts that Jacob sent ahead of him, and standing in awe at the huge family Jacob brings with him. Here’s a fun tidbit for you since I’ve been teaching you Hebrew words: the word for “blessing” which Jacob stole in Genesis 27 and the word for “gifts” used here are the same words. The word is “barak.” Can you say that? Barak. It’s as if Jacob is trying to return, with interest, that which he stole from Esau. 

But Esau is not angry anymore. It is interesting to me that we don't see what has happened to Esau over these last 20 years. We genuinely have no idea. God's promise continued through Jacob and so we aren't given the perspective of Esau. But I think the hand of God and Esau's life is clear. Often, time gives us more time to make those grudges deeper. We forget our own faults in conflict and only see the bad of the other person. And so for Esau to reverse course and offer forgiveness to Jacob is astounding and clearly shows God’s work in Esau's life.  

One thing this shows us today is that God is working behind the scenes even when we don't know it. Jacob did not know that Esau had moved on from the hurt that Jacob had inflicted on him. He did not know this when God told him it was time to go home. And did you notice God did not tell him that? Jacob just had to choose whether or not to trust God.  

This is such a good reminder for us. God calls us to do things that seem unexpected or frightening, and we might not know how others will react. Perhaps God prompts us to talk to a stranger, or a coworker, or offer goods to someone in need. We don't know how we'll be received. But if God is calling you to do it, then we can trust that God has gone before you. 

Let's come back to Jacob. My favorite part of this text is when Jacob says, “truly to see your face is like seeing the face of God, since you have received me with such favor.” Considering Jacob spent all night wrestling with God, I think he knows a little something about what it is to see God's face. You see, Jacob wrestled with God and instead of losing his life, he gained a limp and a mighty dependence on and faith in God. Because he knew how strong of a fighter God is first hand, Jacob new that if God fights for him then he will succeed. When God could have killed him during the fight, Jacob survived with a limp but emerged stronger. And when his angry brother should have killed him, he was instead welcomed with open arms. To see his brother is like seeing the face of God. 

This is such a wonderful story of God's graciousness. God was gracious to Jacob to be with him all this time and to even to wrestle the Jacob out of him. God is gracious to remain faithful to Jacob when Jacob is not faithful to God. And Esau is so gracious to extend a hand of love instead of a fist of anger towards his brother Jacob.  

Jacob accepts the graciousness of God and his brother. He accepts his brother's forgiveness of him. It says that they weep and kiss and hug. I imagine they have both played through different ways this reunion could go in their minds. And because of God and his faithfulness, I bet this reunion went better than either of them could have ever hoped. And I love that we don't see Jacob trying to deny the graciousness of Esau due to his own unworthiness. We see him accept it with gratitude. And Esau does not demand payment for Jacob's sin. Jacob gives it to him anyway, but it was not expected. 

There's so much we can learn about forgiveness from the story. First of all, if someone extends forgiveness to you, accept it with deep gratitude. And if you are wrestling with unforgiveness, remember that holding a grudge harms you. And anything you think you are owed is just a burden weighing on your own shoulders. 

When I talk about forgiveness, you will always hear me differentiate between forgiveness and reconciliation. We really see both in this story. The forgiveness is that Esau let go of the debt that was owed him. He did not expect any gift from Jacob. He only took it because Jacob insisted. And we see reconciliation, which is the fact that their relationship began to be mended. They began to be brothers again. 

Reconciliation is not always possible even after forgiveness, but it’s impossible without forgiveness. Again, reconciliation is not always possible after forgiveness, but reconciliation is impossible without forgiveness. I just want to focus on forgiveness today and let reconciliation be a possible benefit of it. Because we are not told that we always must reconcile with one another. But we are told that as Christians, we must forgive. Jesus forgave us of all our sins and the Holy Spirit is working to purge us of our sin nature and replace it with a godly nature. In other words, God is working the Jacob out of us so that we can be like Israel and trust God to fight for us. And we must also forgive the Jacob in others because we know that nature was in us as well. 

I mentioned last week that these stories in Genesis have as much to do with us as they do Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and Esau. The word of God is living and active, and sharper than a double edged sword. So what does this story have to do with us? 

There are people who have committed egregious sins that have deeply harmed and perhaps even ended lives. Perhaps you’ve never experienced that, but you’ve been hurt by others still. Whether egregious or more “normal,” sometimes reconciliation is not possible. This is why I point out the forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things. Perhaps reconciliation with a person like that is not always wise. But forgiveness will still always be the best option.  

If someone has sinned against you deeply and you carry around a grudge against that person, not only are you disobeying God but you are also damaging your physical health. I mentioned that at the beginning. Unforgiveness wreaks havoc on your health. God designed our bodies to forgive. God created us to forgive. Unforgiveness hurts us because we were not meant to hold grudges. We're meant to forgive.  

What does forgiveness mean? It just means to let go of the debt. Don't expect them to do anything for you. Accept the wrong that was done to you. Not acceptance in the sense of what was done being acceptable, because it wasn’t. But acceptance in the sense of accepting that this was a bad thing that happened and there's nothing you can do to undo it. That's acceptance. The mental health world calls this “radical acceptance.” It's a great starting place of forgiveness and healing. So accept that a wrong has been done against you and choose not to let that person have any more hold on your life. 

Or perhaps you need to accept God's forgiveness or the forgiveness extended by another. But perhaps you think that you don't deserve it and you'd rather suffer in the shame that you think you deserve. Friends, God has already offered forgiveness to you. Jesus already paid it all. Don't you think he suffered enough? Wouldn’t you rather live a life where you're showing others how gracious God is? Wouldn't you rather live a life where you tell people that Jacob you used to be and show them the Israel that God has made you into? Doesn't that sound better? That's what God wants for you! God wants for you to offer forgiveness and receive forgiveness so that you can model to others what it looks like to forgive and be forgiven. There is freedom in forgiveness. There is freedom in the forgiver and the forgiven. And that freedom is that of Jesus Christ.  

John Wesley said that “God made Esau not only not an enemy, but a friend.” And what's so astounding is that God offers us that same forgiveness and reconciliation. That means that we also have a friend in God. Though we have sinned against God and God sent his only Son to die for us, he did it out of love. God did not want a separation between us and him. He wanted a relationship with us. And so God sent his own son so, much like Esau and Jacob, we could have a friend in God. 

How astounding. The God of the universe sent his only Son when he wouldn't even ask Abraham to do that. Do you see why this is such a perfect lesson for us as we head into advent? Emmanuel. God with us. God wanted a relationship with us and so he sent his Son, Jesus. Jesus was not send him as a conqueror or man of power. He sent Jesus as a baby. The Son of God made flesh as a newborn could not even hold up his own head. This goes to show that God wants to forgive you of your sin even though it cost him everything. And God wants you to offer forgiveness too, even if it costs you much. Again I’m talking about forgiveness, not reconciliation. That sometimes happens by God’s grace, but not always. It’s about forgiveness. And might I remind you that you can't out-give God. So forgive extravagantly. It’s good for your health, it's good for your relationship with God, and it shows the outstanding graciousness of God. Perhaps through you someone can see the gracious face of God. 

Once again, I invite you to come forward during our last hymn. You can come forward to confess your sins and ask for forgiveness and radically accept it. You can come forward to ask God to help you forgive someone or yourself. And it might be that tomorrow you have to forgive them again. It's okay. Whether it’s the first step or perhaps this is the 30th step for you, forgive yet again. This forgiveness releases you and demonstrates God's own forgiveness. Come forward if you want to pray for forgiveness or to receive forgiveness. Or if you have anything else on your heart and you are sensing the Holy Spirit telling you to come, then come.  

Nothing has to be going wrong in your life for you to come forward and pray. In fact, I would argue that if you come forward and pray, there is something going very right in your life. That shows me and yourself that you are taking your relationship with God seriously because came to the altar and pray. 

I will pray at the altar our closing prayer and if you would like to, I invite you to come. I pray you do not let anxiety or nerves stop you. And if you think someone is judging you, let that go. God is more important than the gaze of others. Let’s pray together. 

God, you are more gracious than we deserve. But it's not about us. It's about you. We confess our sins to you right now in this moment. And we receive your forgiveness. We know you are a forgiving God. Us for our unforgiveness. Help us extend forgiveness to others. And let us show your face in your graciousness through our lives and our radical forgiveness. Thank you for the stories recorded in the scriptures that are just as real for us as they were for them. I thank you that you were just as active now as you were back then. In the mighty name of your son Jesus we pray amen.